A couple of guys from Newfoundland drove into a lumberyard in a pickup truck.
One of the guys walked in the office and said, "We need some four-
The clerk said, "You mean two-
The guy said, "I'll go check," and went back to the truck.
He returned a minute later and said, "Yeah, I meant two-
"All right," the clerk said. "How long do you need them?"
The guy paused for a minute and said, "Uh... I'd better go check again."
After a while, he returned to the office and said, "A long time. We're gonna build a house."
1. A bicycle can't stand alone, because it's two-
2. A backward poet writes inverse.
3. A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.
4. A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.
5. A plateau is a high form of flattery.
6. A lot of money is tainted -
7. Acupuncture is a jab well done.
8. A will is a dead giveaway.
9. When you've seen one shopping center, you've seen a mall.
10. When a clock is hungry, it goes back four seconds.
11. When her hair started turning gray, the actress thought she'd dye.
12. If you don't pay your exorcist, you'll get repossessed.
13. If you throw a grenade into a French kitchen, you'll get Linoleum Blownapart.
14. Bakers trade recipes on a knead to know basis.
15. Women who marry get a new name and a dress.
Some new Error messages
1. Smash forehead on keyboard to continue.
2. Press Ctrl-
3. Keyboard not attached. Press F1 to continue.
4. Close your eyes and press escape three times.
5. Enter any 11-
6. BREAKFAST.SYS halted... Cereal port not responding.
7. COFFEE.SYS missing... Insert cup and press any key.
8. File not found. Should I fake it? (Y/N)
9. Error: LPT1 not found. Use Pencil and Paper? (Y/N)
10. This will end your Windows session. Play again?
11. User Error: Replace user? (Y/N).
12. Backup not found: (A)bort (R)etry (P)anic
Funny stuff